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Iridescent, the mauve gradient

by Kaya

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Derek Thomas
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1.
Saline 05:14
lyrics
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Do, do you release your tide? In all of the searching, in all of the time, its hard to heal when you've lost your mind When all of your senses numb out and die, its hard to feel when you only cry 
And in-spite of, what's inside you, grieving eyes that try to  swim away 
Just like the ocean, just like the sea
 Salt inside water that's elementary  saline, saline And just like the ocean that pours out of me, salt inside water that's elementary There must be healing that's covering me saline, saline With all of the reason, but none of the rhyme, thinking your strong but your just killing time And all of your senses numb out and die longer you wait, the more that you’ll cry Like bodies in water that float, let it fall until your body is soaked Just like the ocean, just like the sea
 Salt inside water that's elementary  saline, saline And just like the ocean that pours out of me, salt inside water that's elementary There must be healing that's covering me saline, saline 
Just like the ocean, calls out to me in perfect composition, for mourning endlessly Breaking me open, down to my feet Let it all be over, let it all be seen 
 JJust like the ocean, just like the sea
 Salt inside water that's elementary  saline, saline And just like the ocean that pours out of me, salt inside water that's elementary There must be healing that's covering me saline, saline
2.
Going going gone 03:54
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They tell you only you choose do in life what you want to But what if you want it, what if you need it gone? So just suffer, suffer more Suffer till you can’t control knives at your throat  Way up high, or down below? No matter how much they say they do they don’t know 
Cause I know you, you need to You to know your believed I know you,  just want to All you want is to be free 
 So just keep bleeding, and bleed some more Drown in all your blood cause that’s all your good for We turned it off, your voice is gone yea you don’t need it There is nothing to be done, for you So take pills and cry for hours 
Give up and give to others You know that you're going going gone 
 Cause I know you, you need to You to know your believed I know you, just want to All you want is to be free 
 Take pills and cry, take pills and cry, take pills and cry, take pills, take pills and cry for hours, oh cry for hours Take pills and cry 
 You know that you're you know that you're you know that you're going going gone
3.
Iridescent 03:55
lyrics
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I have lost count of all the pills I’ve had to swallow all the ways I’ve tried to love myself and What I found out I needed space for all the hatred make a way to feel and say it 
Cause you and I we don’t exist in one dimension or two dimension And its more than three or four, five or six We’re Iridescent I'm Iridescent 
 Prisms inside darkness and light Oooh, that’s you and I Prison inside me thunder and lightening  oooh I, barely survived  
 When it hurts so bad you would leave I wish you didn’t have to hide it, to yourself deny it When all you want is to be free I know why and that’s so valid, Your pain is valid 
 Cause you and I we don’t exist yea in one dimension oh or two dimensions All the dark inside us needs acknowledgment  to be accepted oh we are Iridescent 
 Where ever you are, whatever you do I’m holding space  I hold it for you 
 Whoever you are oh and whatever you choose I'll hold this space forever for you
4.
All in All feat George Bancroft 02:33
lyrics
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In every way we've spun, rainy days to sun Quiet storms that stun Oh my weary limbs will fall, in piles I appall But what we are we are All in all falling hard growing slow tender parts All in all lost in flow mending hearts

about

iridescent, the mauve gradient
is the third of my 3 mini EP's

Iridescence reflects many colours prismatically, shifting based on the angle of perspective, and the amount of light or darkness in a space

Embodied within the scope and content of each mini EP is 1 of 3 colour gradients. Together these gradients capture the full colour spectrum found within Iridescence

The mauve gradient is about depression and suicidality. While in crisis, seeing purple became so important that I dyed my hair and the bed spread I spent so much time on, purple. While searching for healing, I learnt of the need to honor all parts of self, including the experience of being suicidal, by being brutally honest and about it.
Endless treatments and years of memories wiped away, I remember that time as mauve. Dusty mauve, grey with mourning the self and life that I watched leave me.
These songs are the mauve gradient of my iridescence, and through them I hope to extend some kind of validation and empathy to anyone who knows of this particular kind of mourning.

credits

released October 20, 2021

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Kaya Toronto, Ontario

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